More Business Stories 

08-20-2025

Wife’s Amazement – How Can You Be So Awake?

It’s 3 a.m., and the phone rings. I pick up, fully alert, as if I’ve been waiting. Working in a family business becomes second nature. You stay on call, whether you like it or not. This time, it’s Lambert, the police dispatcher. Another drink machine overturned during the night. I tell him to unplug it, draw a chalk line around it, and cover it with a sheet. I’ll send my guys by 8 a.m. to pick it up. He laughs and says his officers will clear the scene.

We Lost Another Good One Last Night!

I was sitting in my office when Brian, a vending technician, walked in. He looks serious. “Got a minute, John?” “Sure,” I wave him in. I call him “Brainy Smurf,” though I’m not sure why. He tosses a 45-caliber bullet at me. “Another shooting last night,” he says. “They hit the store on West 5th. Our vendor got caught. The bullet shorted the wiring harness. It’s done.” “Thanks,” I reply.

I call Detective Teal, head of major crimes. “Heard you were busy last night,” I say. “One of our vendors got hit. I’ve got the bullet.” He laughs. “Keep it as a souvenir,” he says. “I’ve got plenty.”

Lucky for us, no one got killed—just the machine.

Salting The Machine.

Years ago, coin changers were made of metal. Someone discovered that spraying saltwater into the coin slot causes the contacts to close. The machine would then dispense free drinks and empty the change. Within weeks, dozens of machines broke down, costing us a fortune. We had to retrofit them with water diverters. But before that, I had a plan. I installed a time-lapse camera on a machine that had been hit multiple times, along with a moisture detector. When the detector sensed water, it triggered the alarm, and the camera started recording. Within a week, I had the thief’s face and car. The video aired on Crime Stoppers. His ex-girlfriend turned him in for the reward. After that, the vandalism stopped.

Say Cheese.

I set up another machine, but no thief showed up. Instead, I captured a picture of two lovers sharing a cold Pepsi and a kiss at 9:45 p.m. A made-for-TV moment! I printed it and posted it in the sales room. The caption read, “Do you know where your daughter is tonight?”

The Annual Alarm.

One night, around 10 p.m., the motion alarm by the vault goes off. The secretary’s desk sits nearby. I arrive, and a police officer shines his light on me as I open the door. He and another officer search the office, but no one’s inside. I spot a vase with flowers on her desk and a helium balloon that says “Happy Anniversary.” The heat kicked on, making the balloon sway, which triggered the motion detector. I moved the vase to another room and made a note to remember her anniversary next year to prevent this from happening again.

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